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Match Joke Book

Match  Joke Book Author Macmillan Children's Books
ISBN-10 9781509825011
Release 2016-04-21
Pages
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Over four hundred of the funniest football jokes from the makers of Match! the UK's best football magazine! Match! Joke Book is a hilarious mix of football quips, puns, knock-knock jokes and shaggy-dog stories. You'll laugh your football socks off! The Sweetest Stars Sergio Agu-AERO (Manchester City) Lee KIT-KAT-termole (Sunderland) MARS Bender (Bayer Leverkusen) ROLO Touré (Liverpool) John TERRY'S CHOCOLATE ORANGE (Chelsea)



Match Joke Book

Match  Joke Book Author Match
ISBN-10 9781509824991
Release 2016-04-21
Pages 224
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The very best football jokes from the makers of the UK's best football magazine!



Horrid Henry s Joke Book

Horrid Henry s Joke Book Author Francesca Simon
ISBN-10 9781402245657
Release 2010-04-01
Pages 112
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Warning: Too rude for parents and for slimy toad little brothers! These are Horrid Henry's very own jokes: the jokes that grossed out Mom and Dad... that made Aunt Ruby run home... that sent Miss Battle-Axe screaming from class. Be horrid! Read Henry's jokes. Then tell them to the world!



World s Funniest Football Jokes

World s Funniest Football Jokes Author Jim Chumley
ISBN-10 9781786854681
Release 2017-10-12
Pages 128
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What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?He sent on his subs.God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute.God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn't be a fair match because all the 'good' players go to heaven.The devil smiled, replying, "Yes, but we've got all the refs."Football is obviously very serious business— like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' but it's a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.



The Bumper Book of Very Silly Jokes

The Bumper Book of Very Silly Jokes Author Macmillan Children's Books
ISBN-10 9781447247258
Release 2013-04-11
Pages 288
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Hundreds of silly jokes on every topic you can think of! What's the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can't dunk an elephant in your tea. Why did the monster get good marks in his exam? Because two heads are better than one. What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head? Shelley.



Football Jokes

Football Jokes Author Macmillan Children's Books
ISBN-10 9781447259831
Release 2014-06-05
Pages 80
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Hundreds of the most hilarious football jokes around. Perfect for football fans to enjoy in between those all-important World Cup games, Premier League matches and European Cup finals. When is a footballer like a baby? When he dribbles. Who's in goal when the ghost team plays football? The ghoulie, of course Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines? They both have trouble with the key. What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squelch? An elephant with wet football boots. How does an octopus go on to a football pitch? Well-armed! How can a footballer stop his nose running? Put out a foot and trip it up. What's the best day for a footballer to eat bacon and eggs for breakfast? Fry-day.



Christmas Jokes

Christmas Jokes Author Macmillan Children's Books
ISBN-10 9781447248361
Release 2013-10-10
Pages 96
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Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks What do ghosts put on their turkey at Christmas? Grave-y What do you call a penguin wearing ear muffs? Anything you like, he can't hear you! This hilarious collection of over 200 yuletide jokes is a must-have for the festive season. Featuring a brilliant collection of wintery puns and superbly silly black and white illustrations, you’d have to be Christmas crackers to miss it. The perfect stocking-filler for both boys and girls, these jokes will sleigh you!



The Essex Joke Book

The Essex Joke Book Author Nicholas Knights
ISBN-10 9781448132638
Release 2012-09-13
Pages 192
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WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings Essex Forget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen. What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion. What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels. An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says. ‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says. ‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl. The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’



Match Incredible Stats and Facts

Match  Incredible Stats and Facts Author James Bandy
ISBN-10 9781509825004
Release 2016-04-21
Pages 224
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The only football fact book you will ever need from the makers of the UK's best football magazine! Match reveals tons of facts, stats, lists and records from fastest goals to top scorers, most red cards to tallest stars in the Premier League. Champions League, World Cup and more.



Playing with Matches

Playing with Matches Author Brian Katcher
ISBN-10 9780385735452
Release 2009-10-01
Pages 294
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While trying to find a girl who will date him, Missouri high school junior Leon Sanders befriends a lonely, disfigured female classmate.



Corny Jokes and Riddles Shopkins

Corny Jokes and Riddles  Shopkins Author Scholastic
ISBN-10 9780545949118
Release 2016-01-05
Pages 48
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Laugh along with all your favorite Shopkins! Apple Blossom, Kooky Cookie, Strawberry Kiss, and more crack cartful after cartful of fresh jokes in this hilarious book. Plus, with full-color illustrations throughout, there are discoveries in store on every page!



Joke Performance in Africa

Joke Performance in Africa Author Ignatius Chukwumah
ISBN-10 9781351668880
Release 2017-12-14
Pages 290
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Jokes have always been part of African culture, but never have they been so blended with the strains and gains of the contemporary African world as today. Joke-Performance in Africa describes and analyses the diverse aesthetics, forms, and media of jokes and their performance and shows how African jokes embody the anxieties of the time and space in which they are enacted. The book considers the pervasive phenomenon of jokes and their performance across Africa in such forms as local jests, street jokes, cartoons, mchongoano, ewhe-eje, stand-up comedy, internet sex jokes, and ‘comicast’ transmitted via modern technology media such as the TV, CDs, DVDs, the internet platforms of YouTube, Facebook, and other social arenas, as well as live performances. Countries represented are Egypt, Kenya, Malawi, Morocco, Nigeria, and Zambia, covering the North, West, East and Southern Africa. The book explores the description of the joke form from various perspectives, ranging from critical discourse analysis, interviews, humour theories, psychoanalysis, the postcolony and technauriture, to the interactive dramaturgy of joke-performances, irrespective of media and modes of performance. Containing insightful contributions from leading African scholars, the book acquaints readers with detailed descriptions of the diverse aesthetics of contemporary African jokes, thereby contributing to the current understanding of joke-performance in Africa. It will appeal to students and scholars of African studies, popular culture, theatre, performance studies and literary studies.



The Irish Joke Book

The Irish Joke Book Author Brendon Kelly
ISBN-10 9781477159118
Release 2012-10-26
Pages 88
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The Irish Joke Book is a comprehensive set of jokes about the Irish. Brendon Kelly pokes fun at the Irish from the troubled times of the 1980s through to the Irish of today, still in global recession like the rest of us. The Irish can laugh at themselves and wont mind these, or should I say dese, jokes. Just take a few at a time. Youll laugh, groan and snicker at these sometimes harsh, sometimes crazy but always amusing Irish jokes. No-one is safe - not pilots on the Irish national airline Aer Lingus, not Guinness drinkers, nor Irish council workers. Sure theyre not safe. The Irish love a laugh, and have that inbuilt Celt good sense-of-humor, or as we text GSOH. And then theres the lurvely accent, on de ladies. And theyre good looking and the men - arent - Youll have your favorites. Then youll forget where the hell it was - dat joke. So I wrote dis handy Index at da back. Ya can test yourself by finding de words in de Index dat you remember all dere, to find de joke again. Or try and remember da joke from the line in de Index. Tanks a million ... P.S. Da sketches are of Molly Malone in Grafton Street, Dublin and the Irish milk given when ya donate a pint of blood. God bless the Irish! Brendon Kelly



Mix and Match Jokes

Mix and Match Jokes Author Viki Woodworth
ISBN-10 1567660630
Release 1995-09-01
Pages 23
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A collection of riddles about what happens when you cross hummingbirds and bells, bees and guns, skeletons and fairy godmothers, and other such unlikely combinations.



The Test Match Special Book of Cricket Quotes

The Test Match Special Book of Cricket Quotes Author Dan Waddell
ISBN-10 9781448142941
Release 2017-05-25
Pages 336
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Collecting hundreds of quips and quotes, and beautifully illustrated throughout, The Test Match Special Book of Cricket Quotes is a cricket fan’s indispensable guide to bats, beards, boundaries and bowls. From witty sayings and wise words, to doubles entendres, and legendary moments from cricketing history, you’ll find the perfect line for every occasion. ‘I've never got to the bottom of streaking’- Jonathan Agnew ‘On the first day Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off' - Trevor Bailey ‘Bill Frindall has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator’- John Arlott 'Strangely, in slow motion, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer' - David Acfield 'I'm not into caps with lots of diamonds on them, like KP' - James Anderson 'How can you tell your wife you are just popping out to play a match and then not come back for five days?' - Rafa Benitez on test cricket ‘I don't think we choked this time. We never played well enough to choke’ - Craig Matthews ‘Flintoff starts in, his shadow beside him. Where else would it be?’- Henry Blofeld ‘I once delivered a simple ball, which I was told, had it gone far enough, would have been considered a wide’ - Lewis Carroll



The Unofficial Joke Book Of Switzerland

The Unofficial Joke Book Of Switzerland Author Billoo Badhshah
ISBN-10 8128805754
Release
Pages 128
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The Unofficial Joke Book Of Switzerland has been writing in one form or another for most of life. You can find so many inspiration from The Unofficial Joke Book Of Switzerland also informative, and entertaining. Click DOWNLOAD or Read Online button to get full The Unofficial Joke Book Of Switzerland book for free.



Horse Games and Puzzles for Kids

Horse Games and Puzzles for Kids Author Cindy A. Littlefield
ISBN-10 9781580175388
Release 2004
Pages 137
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You can count on horse-crazy kids to be doing something horse-related, thinking about something horse-related, or planning something horse-related 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That's why Cindy A. Littlefield created the Kids' Book of Horse Games & Puzzles. If kids are going to spend their time horsing around, they might as well jump-start their creativity and boost their problem-solving skills at the same time. The book is divided into five sections: Word Play, Picture Puzzles, Drawing, Fun and Games, and Brain Teasers. (All the answers are included.) Take the "Horse and Pony Stall of Fame" challenge by matching up famous equines with their human or television character companions. Snuffle through the "Hungry as a Horse" quiz and see if you can find the names of 14 things horses like to eat hidden in a block of letters. Then break out your best drawing pencils and learn how to draw a horse's portrait in six easy steps. Fun, horsey cartoons and illustrations adorn every page. And scattered throughout the book are horse riddles, bits of horse trivia, and quotes about horses. Here, at last, is the perfect book for kids who love puzzles almost as much as they love horses.