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The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It s Behind Me

The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It s Behind Me Author Lisa Ann Walter
ISBN-10 9780062090645
Release 2011-05-17
Pages 256
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Actressand comic Lisa Ann Walter offers a hilarious, star-studded collection of essaysencouraging women to laugh at what they can't change, enjoy a guilty pleasureor two, and finally accept the lives and the bodies they're in now. The DanceYour Ass Off judge and star of movies like The Parent Trap, ShallWe Dance, and Bruce Almighty delivers a warm, wry, honest, andeffective exhortation to find happiness where you are, in a serenity prayer fortoday’s woman that’s perfect for fans of Gretchen Rubin’s The HappinessProject, Valerie Bertinelli’s Losing Itand Chelsea Handler’s My Horizontal Life.



The Earth My Butt and Other Big Round Things

The Earth  My Butt  and Other Big Round Things Author Carolyn Mackler
ISBN-10 9781681198002
Release 2018-04-03
Pages 256
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A Michael L. Printz Honor Book * An ALA Best Book for Young Adults * A YALSA Teens' Top Ten Book * An NYPL Book for the Teen Age Carolyn Mackler's Printz Honor book--starring the unforgettably funny, body-conscious Virginia Shreves--returns in this 15th anniversary edition featuring text updates and never-before-seen material from the author. Fifteen-year-old Virginia feels like a plus-sized black sheep in her family, especially next to her perfect big brother Byron. Not to mention her best friend has moved, leaving Virginia to navigate an awkward relationship with a boy alone. He might like her now . . . but she has her doubts about how he'll react if he ever looks under all her layers of clothes. In order to survive, Virginia decides to follow a "Fat Girl Code of Conduct,†? which works, until the unthinkable causes her family's façade to crumble. As her world spins out of orbit, she realizes that being true to herself might be the only way back. Told in a perfect blend of humor and heart, this acclaimed Printz Honor winner resonates as much today as it did when it first published, and now features a new author foreword, text updates, and other bonus content.



Get Off Your Ass and Run

Get Off Your Ass and Run Author Ruth Field
ISBN-10 9781615190775
Release 2013
Pages 209
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"First published in the United Kingdom in 2012 as Run Fat Bitch Run by Sphere, an imprint of Little, Brown Book Group."



Good Old Days My Ass

Good Old Days My Ass Author David A. Fryxell
ISBN-10 1440322244
Release 2012-11-01
Pages 224
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Welcome to the Not-So-Glorious Days With the uncertain economy, lingering wars, and the ever-present threats of everything from bird flu to Bieber Fever, it's tempting to long for the "good old days." But just how good were they? Buckle up for a bumpy ride down memory lane (and try not to get trampled) as these 665 funny history facts and terrifying truths reveal the unfortunate reality of life during the eighteenth, nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. From patents that should still be pending to hairdos that attract vermin, these horrors will leave you thankful you didn't have to struggle to live through them. Brace yourself as the truth hits you like an ice-cold Victorian-era shower with enough pressure to knock you unconscious. Get ready to shudder with laughter (or horror) at these funny moments in history that are not to be forgotten.



How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack Author Chuck Sambuchino
ISBN-10 9781473501966
Release 2014-06-05
Pages 112
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There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.



The Day My Butt Went Psycho

The Day My Butt Went Psycho Author Andy Griffiths
ISBN-10 9780545347570
Release 2016-11-29
Pages 240
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A story that you and your butt will never forget! Join Zack on his epic journey across the Great Windy Desert and through the Brown Forest, to reclaim his runaway butt. (Based on a true story.) Zack Freeman is ready to tell his story...the story of a brave young boy and his crazy runaway butt. The story of a crack butt-fighting unit called the B-team, a legendary Butt Hunter's formidable daghter, and some of the ugliest and meanest butts ever to roam the face of the Earth. A story of endurance that takes Zack on an epic journey across the Great Windy Desert, through the Brown Forest, and over the Sea of Butts before descending into the heart of an explosive buttcano to confront the biggest, ugliest, and meanest butt of them all! It's a story you and your butt will never forget!



Fair and Balanced My Ass

Fair and Balanced  My Ass Author Joseph Minton Amann
ISBN-10 1568583478
Release 2007
Pages 289
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The creators of SweetJesusIHateBillOReilly.com present an irreverent profile of the Fox News Channel, arguing that it fails to deliver balanced news reports in accordance with its reputation, and citing what the authors believe to be ratings-driven practices and a pseudo-patriotic agenda. Original.



I Love You with All My Butt

I Love You with All My Butt Author Martin Bruckner
ISBN-10 9781523500222
Release 2017-04-04
Pages 216
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We just can’t get enough of the funny stuff kids say. We share our own children’s gems with friends and family. If we’re smart, we write down these scraps of accidental poetry. And we turn them into books. Martin Bruckner is an artist and father who not only recorded the sayings of his daughter, Harper, but used each as the inspiration for a work of art. After posting them on social media, Bruckner became the artist that other parents sought out to transform their own children’s funny words into artwork. Collected here are 100 mini-posters of pure delight, a marriage of the children’s surprising wisdom and the artist’s nimble style, plus the occasional backstory that amplifies both. Every parent will recognize the spirited declarations of personality—“I’m training to be a wolf.” The endearing mangling of language—“Mommy, I don’t need your mouth to talk to me right now.” The creative mixing of metaphors—“I need a tissue to wipe my feelings.” Those precious, heartbreaking outbursts without guile or filters—“I only love you at the toy store.” Illustrated with sweetness and whimsy, each is a window into the irresistible innocence of childhood, even if the sentiment is “Dad, please wipe the bum of this beautiful princess.”



The Hate U Give

The Hate U Give Author Angie Thomas
ISBN-10 9780062498557
Release 2017-02-28
Pages 464
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8 starred reviews ∙ William C. Morris Award Winner ∙ National Book Award Longlist ∙ Printz Honor Book ∙ Coretta Scott King Honor Book ∙ #1 New York Times Bestseller! "Absolutely riveting!" —Jason Reynolds "Stunning." —John Green "This story is necessary. This story is important." —Kirkus (starred review) "Heartbreakingly topical." —Publishers Weekly (starred review) "A marvel of verisimilitude." —Booklist (starred review) "A powerful, in-your-face novel." —Horn Book (starred review) Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. Khalil was unarmed. Soon afterward, his death is a national headline. Some are calling him a thug, maybe even a drug dealer and a gangbanger. Protesters are taking to the streets in Khalil’s name. Some cops and the local drug lord try to intimidate Starr and her family. What everyone wants to know is: what really went down that night? And the only person alive who can answer that is Starr. But what Starr does—or does not—say could upend her community. It could also endanger her life. And don't miss On the Come Up, Angie Thomas's powerful follow-up to The Hate U Give.



The No Asshole Rule

The No Asshole Rule Author Robert I. Sutton
ISBN-10 0759518017
Release 2007-02-22
Pages 224
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The definitive guide to working with -- and surviving -- bullies, creeps, jerks, tyrants, tormentors, despots, backstabbers, egomaniacs, and all the other assholes who do their best to destroy you at work. "What an asshole!" How many times have you said that about someone at work? You're not alone! In this groundbreaking book, Stanford University professor Robert I. Sutton builds on his acclaimed Harvard Business Review article to show you the best ways to deal with assholes...and why they can be so destructive to your company. Practical, compassionate, and in places downright funny, this guide offers: Strategies on how to pinpoint and eliminate negative influences for good Illuminating case histories from major organizations A self-diagnostic test and a program to identify and keep your own "inner jerk" from coming out The No Asshole Rule is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Business Week bestseller.



The Butt Book

The Butt Book Author Artie Bennett
ISBN-10 1599903113
Release 2009-12-22
Pages 32
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Make way for the butt! Tall butts, short butts, round butts, flat butts.Butts on mummies and butts on mommies.Butts on giraffes and elephants and dogs and… FISH? Yes, even fish butts are celebrated in this tribute to backsides, rumps, tushies, keisters, heinies, and derrieres. Dozens of funny rhymes and pages of laugh-out-loud pictures pay homage to a body part that keeps kids and grown-ups giggling with glee. Bottoms up!



Maestro My Ass

Maestro  My Ass Author Michael Ashton
ISBN-10 0979354277
Release 2009-03-01
Pages 224
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From the Author's Prologue I wrote the original manuscript of this book in 2003, prior to any immediately obvious signs that a crash of the financial markets was on the near (one to five years) horizon. At that time I presented the manuscript to my employer, I was a trader for a major multinational bank, and asked permission to publish it. Since the manuscript was critical of Greenspan and his policies, and stated clearly where they would probably lead us, permission was not granted. At that time, major financial institutions hesitated to challenge Greenspan, and they were very cautious about allowing any of their employees to do so in a public forum. Now that I have left the bank, and the result of Greenspan's policies have been realized, I have decided that it is time to air these opinions and share some of my concerns and suggestions for the future. This is, to be sure, not as timely now as it would have been then. However, it would be presumptuous of me to suggest that publishing this book at that time would have made any difference in what subsequently has taken place-individuals with more authority than mine tried to warn the financial community of the impending disaster, and it is now obvious that they were not listened to. ... The case against Alan Greenspan will have to stand on the evidence presented; it's up to you to decide just how egregious Greenspan's errors of judgment were and whether or not what I have said here convinces you that proper analysis of the situation at the time would have forestalled the current crisis.



Bedding the Best Friend

Bedding the Best Friend Author Virna DePaul
ISBN-10
Release 2015-05-06
Pages
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As the new year approaches, nice girl Annie O'Roarke finds herself bored and lonely. She wants more excitement. More adventure. And more sex...even if it won't be with her secret crush, her best friend, Ryan Hennessey. Annie's determined to be "bad" for once in her life, and that includes completing her "naughty" list in a city where being bad is just an ordinary day: Vegas. Ryan Hennessey is a firefighter who relishes his time off with Annie. Annie's the only person he can count on and he'd never jeopardize their friendship. Then Ryan discovers Annie's "naughty" list. Although he's stunned Annie is raring to explore her wilder side, he doesn't trust anyone else to keep her safe. So long as he's there to protect her, Ryan's going to teach Annie the true key to being a bad girl. A bad girl takes what she wants. Will Annie be brave enough to act on the passion that sizzles between her and Ryan? And will Ryan convince himself and Annie that love is worth gambling for? The Bedding the Bachelors Series: Book 1: Bedding The Wrong Brother (Rhys) Book 2: Bedding The Bad Boy (Max) Book 3: Bedding The Billionaire (Jamie) Book 4: Bedding The Best Friend (Ryan) Book 5: Bedding The Biker Next Door (Cole) Book 6: Bedding The Bodyguard (Luke)** Book 7: Bedding The Best Man (Gabe)** Book 8: Bedding The Boss (Eric)**



Golden Years My Ass

Golden Years My Ass Author Roger Welsch
ISBN-10 0557638011
Release 2010-11
Pages 204
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Roger Welsch's humorous take on his hahahaha Golden Years, a subject in which he now considers himself an expert. Portions of this book have been shared with friends facing medical problems and have each and every one found the humor encouraging and heartening. Anyone who is thinking about getting older will profit from a reading of this book...and of course anyone who is pretty much giving up might find something here that would change his mind. You can get old and complain, or get old and laugh; the choice is yours, and this volume gives you that choice.



Banksters

Banksters Author Nicolas Wilson
ISBN-10 9781310205996
Release
Pages 91
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It’s a profitable time to be a bastard, one of the most profitable in history. Mark Dane intends to take full advantage of that and be the bastard at the top- if he can make his way past his fellow predators, through a concrete jungle of murder, sex, greed, and revenge. (Keywords: Psychological Thriller, Suspense Thriller, Suspense Romance, Sociopath, FBI)



My Big Brother Best Friend

My Big Brother Best Friend Author King Mjay
ISBN-10 9781105578809
Release
Pages
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My Big Brother Best Friend has been writing in one form or another for most of life. You can find so many inspiration from My Big Brother Best Friend also informative, and entertaining. Click DOWNLOAD or Read Online button to get full My Big Brother Best Friend book for free.



Bent

Bent Author Anne Clendening
ISBN-10 9781941529669
Release 2018-01-09
Pages 256
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“It was nothing at first. Just a little twitch. My left ring finger was twitching, slowly, almost languidly, the way fishing line does when you’ve hooked something without any strength. Like a baby perch. I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. My first thought: Stress? (Nope, think again)” And here begins a journey that Anne Clendening never saw coming, tried to deny, avoid, postpone and otherwise reject. After all, how does a dark L.A. hippy chick who swore off booze at 22 fit an early onset Parkinson's diagnosis into a life of bartending in Hollywood rock clubs and yoga? “The stories in this book are my experience. They're about life and yoga and illness and love and disaster and happiness. And since you're holding it, I’m hoping you relate in some way because A) That's the whole point, and B) We all need someone to relate to. And maybe a hand up. (But with words.) Because sometimes you just need to hear it’s all going to work out, even though life may have whammed you and half the time everything might seem like a big fat mess and not at all what it’s supposed to look like, which makes no sense in the first place since none of us really know what’s going to happen and you can’t change fate. If I could, I wouldn’t have Parkinson’s and Prince would still be alive. These stories are for you.”