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Why Marriages Succeed or Fail

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail Author John Gottman
ISBN-10 9781439126189
Release 2012-12-11
Pages 240
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Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.



What Makes Love Last

What Makes Love Last Author John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN-10 9781451608489
Release 2013-09-10
Pages 304
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"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple. He decodes the "why" behind betrayal and shows how partners can avoid or recover from unfaithfulness and maintain a loving relationship.Dr. John Gottman, the country's pre-eminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous major awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. A Love You Can Trust shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. A Love You Can Trust guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship"--



The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Author John Gottman, PhD
ISBN-10 9781101902912
Release 2015-05-05
Pages 320
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.



The Man s Guide to Women

The Man s Guide to Women Author John Gottman
ISBN-10 9781623361853
Release 2016-02-02
Pages 224
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Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man? Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love.



The Science of Happily Ever After

The Science of Happily Ever After Author Ty Tashiro
ISBN-10 9780373892907
Release 2014
Pages 278
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Examines the science behind choosing a mate and reveals actionable tips for finding love, in an exploration that draws on research from such fields as demography, sociology, and psychology.



Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child Author John Gottman
ISBN-10 9781439126165
Release 2011-09-20
Pages 240
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Intelligence That Comes from the Heart Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step "emotion coaching" process that teaches how to: * Be aware of a child's emotions * Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching * Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings * Label emotions in words a child can understand * Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.



Meta Emotion

Meta Emotion Author John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN-10 9781134795970
Release 2013-02-01
Pages 384
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This book describes research on the emotional communication between parents and children and its effect on the children's emotional development. Inspired by the work, and dedicated to the memory of Dr. Haim Ginott, it presents the results of initial exploratory work with meta-emotion--feelings about feelings. The initial study of meta-emotion generated some theory and made it possible to propose a research agenda. Clearly replication is necessary, and experiments are needed to test the path analytic models which have been developed from the authors' correlational data. The authors hope that other researchers will find these ideas interesting and stimulating, and will inspire investigation in this exciting new area of a family's emotional life.



Should we stay together

Should we stay together Author Jeffry H. Larson
ISBN-10 IND:30000064957099
Release 2000-04-25
Pages 185
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Offers advice to couples about the potential of their relationship and whether they are compatable enough to get married, and includes a premarital assessment questionnaire.



The Science of Trust Emotional Attunement for Couples

The Science of Trust  Emotional Attunement for Couples Author John M. Gottman
ISBN-10 9780393707403
Release 2011-05-09
Pages 496
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An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.



The Mathematics of Marriage

The Mathematics of Marriage Author John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN-10 0262250454
Release 2005-01-14
Pages 500
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Divorce rates are at an all-time high. But without a theoretical understanding of the processes related to marital stability and dissolution, it is difficult to design and evaluate new marriage interventions. The Mathematics of Marriage provides the foundation for a scientific theory of marital relations. The book does not rely on metaphors, but develops and applies a mathematical model using difference equations. The work is the fulfillment of the goal to build a mathematical framework for the general system theory of families first suggested by Ludwig Von Bertalanffy in the 1960s.The book also presents a complete introduction to the mathematics involved in theory building and testing, and details the development of experiments and models. In one "marriage experiment," for example, the authors explored the effects of lowering or raising a couple's heart rates. Armed with their mathematical model, they were able to do real experiments to determine which processes were affected by their interventions.Applying ideas such as phase space, null clines, influence functions, inertia, and uninfluenced and influenced stable steady states (attractors), the authors show how other researchers can use the methods to weigh their own data with positive and negative weights. While the focus is on modeling marriage, the techniques can be applied to other types of psychological phenomena as well.



The Relationship Cure

The Relationship Cure Author John Gottman, PhD
ISBN-10 9781524761776
Release 2017-02-22
Pages 336
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A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones “This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship “John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.”William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart “When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: * Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection” * Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection * Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids



And Baby Makes Three

And Baby Makes Three Author John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN-10 9781400097388
Release 2008-01
Pages 252
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Drawing on separate scientific studies, two relationship experts introduce the knowledge and skills couples need to make the transition to parenthood, using practical advice and real-life examples to help couples avoid relationship meltdown, maintain a healthy sex life, preserve emotional intimacy, prevent postpartum depression, and create a nurturing environment. Reprint. 50,000 first printing.



The Marriage Test

The Marriage Test Author Jill Andres
ISBN-10 9780425282755
Release 2016
Pages 256
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The Hidden Brain

The Hidden Brain Author Shankar Vedantam
ISBN-10 1588369390
Release 2010-01-19
Pages 288
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The hidden brain is the voice in our ear when we make the most important decisions in our lives—but we’re never aware of it. The hidden brain decides whom we fall in love with and whom we hate. It tells us to vote for the white candidate and convict the dark-skinned defendant, to hire the thin woman but pay her less than the man doing the same job. It can direct us to safety when disaster strikes and move us to extraordinary acts of altruism. But it can also be manipulated to turn an ordinary person into a suicide terrorist or a group of bystanders into a mob. In a series of compulsively readable narratives, Shankar Vedantam journeys through the latest discoveries in neuroscience, psychology, and behavioral science to uncover the darkest corner of our minds and its decisive impact on the choices we make as individuals and as a society. Filled with fascinating characters, dramatic storytelling, and cutting-edge science, this is an engrossing exploration of the secrets our brains keep from us—and how they are revealed.



Wedding Toasts I ll Never Give

Wedding Toasts I ll Never Give Author Ada Calhoun
ISBN-10 9780393254808
Release 2017-05-16
Pages 256
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Inspired by her viral New York Times “Modern Love” essay “The Wedding Toast I’ll Never Give”, Ada Calhoun’s memoir is a witty, poignant exploration of the beautiful complexity of marriage. We hear plenty about whether or not to get married, but much less about what it takes to stay married. Clichés around marriage—eternal bliss, domestic harmony, soul mates—leave out the real stuff. After marriage you may still want to sleep with other people. Sometimes your partner will bore the hell out of you. And when stuck paying for your spouse’s mistakes, you might miss being single. In Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give, Ada Calhoun presents an unflinching but also loving portrait of her own marriage, opening a long-overdue conversation about the institution as it truly is: not the happy ending of a love story or a relic doomed by high divorce rates, but the beginning of a challenging new chapter of which “the first twenty years are the hardest.” Calhoun’s funny, poignant personal essays explore the bedrooms of modern coupledom for a nuanced discussion of infidelity, existential anxiety, and the many other obstacles to staying together. Both realistic and openhearted, Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give offers a refreshing new way to think about marriage as a brave, tough, creative decision to stay with another person for the rest of your life. “What a burden,” Calhoun calls marriage, “and what a gift.”



The Heart of Parenting

The Heart of Parenting Author John Mordechai Gottman
ISBN-10 0747532818
Release 1997
Pages 239
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This is a practical guide for parents on how to raise a child who can understand and control his or her emotions. It explains a child's different emotional needs at different ages, and shows parents how to help their children calm themselves down, how to focus their attention, how to give their children better emotional support through difficult times, such as divorce, and offers simple tools and techniques for parents to evaluate and improve on their own emotional parenting styles.



13 Things Mentally Strong People Don t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don t Do Author Amy Morin
ISBN-10 9780062358318
Release 2014-12-23
Pages 272
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The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Your Mental Strength Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength. But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times? And what should we do when we face these challenges? Or as psychotherapist Amy Morin asks, what should we avoid when we encounter adversity? Through her years counseling others and her own experiences navigating personal loss, Morin realized it is often the habits we cannot break that are holding us back from true success and happiness. Indulging in self-pity, agonizing over things beyond our control, obsessing over past events, resenting the achievements of others, or expecting immediate positive results holds us back. This list of things mentally strong people don't do resonated so much with readers that when it was picked up by Forbes.com it received ten million views. Now, for the first time, Morin expands upon the thirteen things from her viral post and shares her tried-and-true practices for increasing mental strength. Morin writes with searing honesty, incorporating anecdotes from her work as a college psychology instructor and psychotherapist as well as personal stories about how she bolstered her own mental strength when tragedy threatened to consume her. Increasing your mental strength can change your entire attitude. It takes practice and hard work, but with Morin's specific tips, exercises, and troubleshooting advice, it is possible to not only fortify your mental muscle but also drastically improve the quality of your life.