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Wired for Love

Wired for Love Author Stan Tatkin
ISBN-10 9781608826407
Release 2012-01-02
Pages 200
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"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. Strengthen your relationship by: • Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” • Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected • Learning to fight so that nobody loses • Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.



Wired for Love

Wired for Love Author Stan Tatkin
ISBN-10 9781608820597
Release 2012-01-02
Pages 200
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"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider's guide to understanding a partner's brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners' emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognize when the brain's threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a ""warring brain"" mentality and toward a more cooperative ""loving brain"" understanding of the relationship. Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.



Wired for Love

Wired for Love Author Stan Tatkin
ISBN-10 1608820580
Release 2011
Pages 181
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Citing a high percentage of first marriages that end in divorce, a guide based on the author's extensive work as a family therapist incorporates cutting-edge findings in brain science and the nervous system while outlining 10 principles for managing a partner's emotional reactions and resolving conflicts lovingly. (This title was previously listed in Forecast.) Original.



Wired for Dating

Wired for Dating Author Stan Tatkin
ISBN-10 9781626253056
Release 2016-01-02
Pages 200
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In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.



Attached

Attached Author Amir Levine
ISBN-10 1101475161
Release 2010-12-30
Pages 304
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Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes. In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: *ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. *AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. *SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.



Insecure in Love

Insecure in Love Author Leslie Becker-Phelps
ISBN-10 9781608828173
Release 2014-06-01
Pages 192
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Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences. In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way—rather than beating yourself up. You’ll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness. If you suffer from anxious attachment, you probably know that you need to change, and yet you have remained stuck. With compassionate self-awareness, you can successfully explore old anxiety-perpetuating perceptions and habits without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them. By understanding the psychological factors at the root of your attachment anxiety, you will learn to cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime. If you’re ready to stop getting stuck in the same hurtful relationship patterns and finally break the cycle of heartache, this book can show you how to get the love you deserve—and keep it!



Love and War in Intimate Relationships Connection Disconnection and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy

Love and War in Intimate Relationships  Connection  Disconnection  and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy Author Marion Solomon
ISBN-10 9780393706727
Release 2011-04-11
Pages 288
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Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior. What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.



We Do

We Do Author Stan Tatkin
ISBN-10 1622038932
Release 2018-03-01
Pages 256
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Committing yourself fully to a loving partnership--a "we"--can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you'll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So, how do you beat the odds? In We Do, psychotherapist Stan Tatkin provides a groundbreaking system for helping couples create meaningful, enduring relationships. According to Tatkin, all couples--once major deal-breakers are out of the way--have the potential for long-term relationship success. But relationships don't thrive for the reasons we think they do, such as shared values or good communication. Far more influential are psychobiological factors, including attachment styles, arousal regulation, family history, and social-emotional intelligence. We Do guides couples through exercises, questions, and real-world challenges that will help them both ensure they are with the right partner and prevent future problems before they arise.



Attachment Theory and Close Relationships

Attachment Theory and Close Relationships Author Jeffry A. Simpson
ISBN-10 1572301023
Release 1998
Pages 438
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In the last decade, few topics in social and personality psychology have attracted more interest than the application of attachment theory to adult relationships. Comprehensive and up-to-date, this book integrates the most important theoretical and empirical advances in this growing area of study and suggests new and promising directions for future investigation. Its balanced coverage of measurement issues, affect regulation, and clinical applications makes this a valuable sourcebook for scholars, students, and clinicians. This volume would be useful to researchers, teachers, and students, as well as clinical psychologists and other mental health practitioners.



Love Sense

Love Sense Author Sue Johnson
ISBN-10 9780316251082
Release 2013-12-31
Pages 352
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The bestselling author of Hold Me Tight presents a revolutionary new understanding of why and how we love, based on cutting-edge research. Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. LOVE SENSE presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense"--our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. LOVE SENSE covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, LOVE SENSE will change the way we think about love.



Anxious in Love

Anxious in Love Author Carolyn Daitch
ISBN-10 9781608822331
Release 2012-12-01
Pages 208
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Healthy relationships require trust, intimacy, effective communication, and understanding. However, if you suffer from chronic anxiety you may have trouble dealing with everyday conflicts and tensions that can arise in relationships. No matter how committed you are, anxiety can leave you feeling distanced from your partner. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to overcome the anxiety-fueled reactions that keep you from achieving true closeness in your relationship. Written by two experts on anxiety disorders, Anxious in Love offers easy-to-use techniques for calming anxieties and strengthening communication in your relationship. With this book, you will learn to stay centered when faced with conflict, understand your partner’s perspective, and become more independent. By changing the way you react to triggers and stress, you will be able to focus on enjoying time with the one you love, without anxiety getting in the way.



Bad Boyfriends

Bad Boyfriends Author Jeb Kinnison
ISBN-10 0991663616
Release 2014-03
Pages 202
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This book is a practical guide to using the science of attachment and relationships to find the right life partner. If you were brought up in the Western world, you've been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We'll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too. If you've had lots of relationships and they all seem to go wrong, the common factor is you! Your task is to make yourself into a better partner - a goal that even the most evolved of us can always work toward.



Created for Connection

Created for Connection Author Sue Johnson
ISBN-10 9780316307406
Release 2016-10-04
Pages 336
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"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."--1 John 4:8 Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? Do you yearn to grow closer to God, and to further incorporate Him and His teachings into your marriage? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In CREATED FOR CONNECTION, Dr. Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, a leading EFT practitioner in the Christian community, share Johnson's groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships not only between partners, but between us and God. The message of CREATED FOR CONNECTION is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent, and we are on the Heavenly Father, for nurturing, soothing, and protection. The way to enhance or save our relationships with each other and with God is to be open, attuned, responsive, and to reestablish safe emotional connection. Filled with Bible verses, inspiring real-life stories, and guidance, CREATED FOR CONNECTION will ensure a lifetime of love.



The Smart Couple Quote Book

The Smart Couple Quote Book Author Jayson Gaddis
ISBN-10 1631610325
Release 2017-08
Pages
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Real, Actionable Relationship Advice Without the Fluff Real relationships aren't just filled with romance, great sex, and warm, fuzzy feelings forever. All romantic relationships get stressful and challenging. After the honeymoon phase is over, maintaining a loving relationship can get downright hard, and even painful. How you handle the daily challenges of life (alone and together with your partner) will determine whether your relationship gets better or goes down the shitter. The difference between a struggling couple and a smart couple is the smart couple learns how to handle interpersonal stress and relationship challenges with the right map and tools. Discover the Tools for Building a Loving Relationship That Gets Even Better Year After Year In this relationship book for couples and individuals, you will discover the tools you need to create and maintain an incredible relationship-one that gets stronger over time instead of drifting apart. The lessons and love quotes in this book will help you deepen your relationship instead of running away, blaming, or staying stuck in an unfulfilling partnership. Most marriage books try to sell you a "happily ever after" life while skipping over the pain and struggle that comes in all long-term relationships. While avoiding pain may feel good in the short-term, these bad habits will destroy your relationship in the long run. This book will help you squash those fantasies and remind you a fulfilling marriage is earned, not given. Relationship teacher Jayson Gaddis will challenge you and inspire you to think differently about how you deal with the inevitable relationship problems that arise. Instead of viewing every issue or confrontation as an attack to be afraid of, you will learn to lean into the deepest parts of yourself in order to grow, heal, and reconnect with your partner. From Wound Mates to Soul Mates The smart couple learns to move from wound mates to soul mates that inspire the very best in each other. When you make this move, you become a love warrior, destined for a strong partnership over many years. It's not an easy path, but it's the path you must take if you want to create a fulfilling, lasting relationship. Contrary to popular belief, "just loving each other" is not enough to make a relationship last forever. It takes two people who are willing to grow, learn, and challenge each other to rise together in partnership. A loving relationship is a path that demands you gain more self-awareness and self-responsibility so that you can attend to the amazing fire of your connection. A great relationship is designed to get you to grow up and grow into yourself, and a strong, loving relationship has the power to help you accomplish and achieve more in your life. Strap Yourself in for the Ride of a Lifetime There is nothing quite like having a lover, a best friend, and a co-pilot on this crazy ride called life. When you learn the tools that make relationships work, you will indeed become a couple that side-steps the pointless fights, gets stronger through conflict, and has more connected sex, as you become an unstoppable couple that lights up a room. The love quotes found in this relationship book are a gold mine. Read slowly and digest each sentence. You can ponder each one alone and together. You might have to discuss, disagree, and work through a quote, just like you would a normal difference in your own lives. Doing so will be considered "practice" for your relationship or marriage (you can even share your wins and challenges in our private community of Smart Couples). You reap what you sow each day in your relationship, and my strong wish is for you to take good care of your precious relationship by attending to it daily. May these quotes help guide you into a more realistic and magnificent love that lasts.



Troubleshooting Relationships on the Autism Spectrum

Troubleshooting Relationships on the Autism Spectrum Author Ashley Stanford
ISBN-10 9780857008084
Release 2013-08-28
Pages 288
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Don't you wish relationships came with a manual? Ashley Stanford has written a user's guide to relationships that adopts a practical troubleshooting approach to resolving difficulties that will greatly appeal to the logical minds of individuals on the autism spectrum, as well as offering valuable guidance to their partners. Troubleshooting identifies problems and makes them fixable. This book presents a three-step troubleshooting process that can defuse even the trickiest relationship dilemma. Specific problem areas are covered in detail including communication, executive functioning, mindblindness, attachment, intimacy, co-habiting, and raising a family. The book offers straightforward solution-focused strategies and additional help is given in the form of bulleted lists, summaries, scripts, and example scenarios.



Avoidant

Avoidant Author Jeb Kinnison
ISBN-10 0991663667
Release 2014-10-02
Pages 226
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Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types ("Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner") brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: Seem not to care how you feel? Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? Act coldly toward your children and the needy? Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from "Bad Boyfriends" is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there."



The Emotionally Absent Mother

The Emotionally Absent Mother Author Jasmin Lee Cori
ISBN-10 9781615193837
Release 2017-04-18
Pages 304
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The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed. Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can’t quite put a finger on what’s missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children)